


no time for tears, it's the end of the years

by SuperLemonSealaa



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Asshole Jschlatt LMAO, Asshole TommInnit but only cus he is petty, Because I said so <3, Character Death, Childhood Trauma, Daddy Issues, Fundy ends his father instead of Phil, Fundy is trying to be a better son, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I tried to proofread but I am also blind, Just not for Wilbur, Mainly Fundy's POV, Mentioned Dave | Technoblade, Mentioned Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Mother Niki | Nihachu, Orphans, POV Third Person, Philza is basically a god lol, Ranboo and Niki are siblings, Ranboo and Niki are twins, Respawns exist, Schlatt is mentioned to be a father figure for Fundy??, Swearing, Villian Eret, Wilbur is not a good dad hehe, Winged Philza Minecraft, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27810235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperLemonSealaa/pseuds/SuperLemonSealaa
Summary: AU where instead of Philza, Fundy is the one who kills his fatheraka a (sort of?) vent fic where Fundy tries to cope with his loss of childhood, as well as the loss of his dad.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Floris | Fundy & Niki | Nihachu, Floris | Fundy & Phil Watson, Floris | Fundy & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Floris | Fundy & Wilbur Soot, Ranboo & Niki | Nihachu, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 5
Kudos: 86





	no time for tears, it's the end of the years

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy! This is Lea coming at you with a new fic for the Dream SMP fans lol - I just recently saw Niki and Ranboo sibling fan art on TL and went "went this is canon now" lol anyways, I love this fandom a ton! I am really happy to join all of you haha! tbh haven't been watching the streams too much so correct me if I wrong in the comments lol
> 
> Also, all interactions in this story are purely platonic! Do not ship people IRL :( It's weird and very dehumanizing!! Respect cc's boundaries y'all! <3
> 
> Now have your hearts be crushed with angst :-)

_please fundy._

_was i a good father?_

Fundy had watched his father’s sanity drip down the drain. The pain-filled his eyes, the fresh scent of blood dripping from his lips.

He looked as though he was a wild beast.

“No.” Fundy had said, plain and simple.

His father wasn’t a good man. He hurt people, he left Niki and Tubbo behind. He left a son behind. He knew Wilbur didn’t have much of a choice, especially with everyone attacking him. But Fundy begged - no, he prayed that maybe he would return in secret: apologize in the dim moonlight and take him under his wing to Pogtopia.

He stumbled upon it by mistake. That day never came.

Now he and his father were stuck, in front of a moment that will run L’Manberg into the ground. Fundy stood in fear, that all he had ever known. Since the first moments of his life, he had seen death and pain. From his mother’s departure to his pets and friends. That pain was all he had ever known, and in a sickening way he came to love it like a friendship that’s toxicity drains you from your core to the point that you no longer feel human.

He laughed. Fundy used to find it charming and loving, he used to love hearing it after Tommy said a joke or when Tubbo was a little bit out of the loop and they teased him. He used to love it when he was able to make that stern face turn into a small smile when that hand on his shoulder turned into the ruffling of his fur.

Now he hates that sound.

It was like how a crackling fire can turn into a roaring wildfire in seconds. His father was no longer human, at least from what it seems.

“Oh- oh… I knew you would say that,” he laughed sadly, “my son.. oh my son, you want to know why your mother had said when you came into this world?”

Fundy winced, “What did she say, Wil?”

“If I see that boy running off into the woods without any help, I will find your family and kill them..” He smirked, but Fundy knew he was just trying to freak him out (Sally would never say such things, a part of his brain went), “So I never let you fight in the war, I didn’t want you to run away on me.”

“You.. you never even gave me a chance to prove myself?” Fundy felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to believe that Wilbur wanted Fundy to rely on him. Wilbur never even thought about letting Fundy try in war.

Wil’s eyes went dark, he puffed out his chest, “I did it to protect you, son.” He pointed at Fundy, arm straight, “Why don’t you understand? Everything I had ever done was to protect you, Fundy.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have. Maybe, maybe I wanted to challenge my own fears. Accomplish something for once, huh?”

“You would have died more times than I could count, Fundy. Besides, war is far more than just who wins or loses.” Wilbur stepped towards Fundy, eyes crazed, “It’s death either way; a loss for a loss. We could never win Funds, wanna know why? It’s because both sides were weak. I was weak, Dream was weak, fuck! Schlatt was weak too.”

“Schlatt wasn’t weak, Wil. Not because of you, at least.”

“Oh right, how could I forget.” Wilbur hugged himself tightly, he seemed to do that a lot more, “You and Schlatt were so.. so close, huh? I-I heard you.. you had called him ‘dad’ once, am I wrong?”

‘Dad’, a word that hasn’t been used in a long, long time in Fundy's vocab. Originally, Fundy had since denounced Wilbur as his father as a front for himself - thus, mistakenly causing his father to distrust him further. But with Schlatt, those words would slip out before he was able to catch them. It was a simple joke between the two. But it slowly became a norm, to the point where Fundy could ask Minx (Schlatt's neglectful assiatant) if he could see "Dad" and Schlatt would show up for him.

Sadly, even he proved himself to be a false sense of hope when Fundy realized he was merely being used once again.

Fundy tried not to feel shameful when he replied honestly, “You would be correct.” Schlatt's final words to Fundy referencing things about his own body made he revert back to when he was annoyed with Wilbur. When his father didn't understand how hard it was being a fox.

“Man, I never grew tired of you saying that.” He sighed, “When you were just a little kid, you used to sing this poem, right? Used to be so happy to perform for me and Niki, back when we were happy and free.”

He remembers. It was just a stupid song he came up with when L’Manberg barely had finished its walls.

_My name is Fundy. I am a poet. And I wrote this poem just to show it, my daddy’s trying to start L’Manberg._

Now that soft lullaby became tangled within his father’s manic writings in the walls around him. Another piece of the wild man's ramblings.

“Fundy, do you remember Daddy’s-“ he stopped himself abruptly, “my old friend, Eret?”

“Yes.” Fundy rolled his eyes, he was literally trapped with Eret for several years, how could he forget.

“He had a saying before he betrayed all of us during the Dream SMP War,” Wilbur stared at the button, almost lovingly, “it was never met to be.”

He pressed the button.

Fundy wished he could scream, or at least had attempted to run and stop him. But he didn’t. He was still. His hands covering his mouth, he took a bit of damage but cleverly stepped backward. His father saluted as he laughed, not willing to even face what he had done.

His father turned away as the world in front of him crumbled. Why was he not looking at his creation? Did he not think it was going to be as deadly as he had thought? Was he blind to it all? Surely, not. Wilbur wanted to destroy L’Manberg, he wanted to take the L and drop the world into nothingness. So why is he scared now, was it of the consequences? Where would he go now? Techno and Tommy were no longer even on the same side as him, as if they ever were. They had openly betrayed Wilbur, one by leaving him in his time of need and the other by attempting to execute Tubbo. He had no family willing to take him in.

Fundy couldn’t wrap his mind around it, nothing about this man ever made sense. From his stories that came after his mother’s passing to his tears dripping down a smiling man. It reminded him much of Eret, how tears fell down his cheeks as Tommy and Wilbur were forced out of the city with bows and arrows shooting at them in all directions. He didn’t move, he didn’t pity them, it was obvious he was happy. He openly made fun of them, shamed them. Everything between the trio of Quackity, Schlatt, and Eret were the three joking about the pain the two had to suffer through. George was the only sensible one but had gone missing for unknown reasons.

Eret took his safety in numbers, but at the end of the day all the betrayal had done for him was grant him an empty title in an even emptier castle. But he didn’t care, he had pleasure in what that button had done for them - he caused them to be untrustworthy of everyone, to grow more fearful than being relaxed. He was happy to see their faces when they saw what was once their friend turn into an enemy. The pleasure and thrill of betrayal. But the moment that loneliness kicked in, he wanted it all back. He wanted that feeling of belonging, he craved people to feel happy to see him again. But no one wanted him back, besides Niki - yet she wanted the old Eret, of course, the one who helped her bake along with Fundy.

By the harsh glow of his father’s eyes, he could tell that one of the men who betrayed L’Manberg had felt regret.

Wilbur descended to the ground, hugging himself for comfort, “L’Manberg, my great unfinished symphony, now forever unfinished!” He sank into himself, tears dripping down his face.

“Wh-what have you done?” Fundy screamed, “It’s gone! Fucking everything is gone!”

He could have sworn he heard his father muttering something, but he didn’t know what.

“Fundy, Fundy.” He got up slowly, “Fundy, kill me,” he threw a sword in his direction, “Fundy, please kill me. Kill me. Please..”

“Dad..” Fundy didn’t even make an attempt to move.

Wilbur looked at him, redness absorbing his eyes, “Fundy... You.. you love me right?”

Fundy tsked, looking away from the broken man who he once claimed to be his father. He can’t do this, he isn’t able to do anything but ignore - that’s what his father showed him his entire life. He couldn’t even bother to help him when Fundy cried at his mother’s funeral, instead the man held his composure and kept his head high. As though nothing was wrong in the world. As if Fundy’s last support system hadn’t just died.

“Fundy... Fundy..please..”

Fundy had always favorited his mother, some nights he would hear her spirit from beyond. He would speak through the rivers and lakes, she would tell him to be strong. She told him to be brave.

“Fundy, I beg of you, this is the one time.. the one time you can impress me.”

The one time he can, what?

“Oh, so was fighting in a war not enough to impress you? Was dying endless amounts of time not enough to satisfy you?” Fundy's words were filled with venom and he knew it.

Wilbur said nothing, and there was nothing to be said. Carefully, Fundy approached the man. Picking up his sword. This was used to attack Dream. It was used to take back their nation. Both times he had failed in reclaiming what was theirs. He looked down at the man, wishing there was a bone in his body that pitied him.

“Mother was right, you truly are a menace.”

“Everything, Fundy, everything I had ever done was to protect you.” Wilbur sounded out of breath, gasping onto the words. He choked on their meanings.

“Protect me from what? Yourself?”

Death wasn’t a sad thing to Fundy anymore, he had witnessed it once before. He knew this death wouldn’t matter either, respawns were crucial to the existence of the Dream SMP. If that wasn’t the case, Dream would have died twice thanks to Tommy, which is embarrassing, to say the least. He knew he would come back in an instance.

Fundy dropped a knee, gripped Wilbur’s left shoulder harshly, and Wilbur’s body rocked like a ragdoll - as though he could barely keep himself steady. His head bobbed up and down, it left him still as he looked down in shame. Fundy positioned the sword directly near his torso - if this was death he would return shortly, Fundy wants him to at least die quickly and painlessly. As painlessly as a sword in your body could get.

“Any last words, Wilbur?” Fundy felt his heart beating out of his chest, although he knew it wasn't - it felt like an end of an era.

Wilbur tilted his head upwards, clearly struggled to keep himself upright with only his eyes being able to show his true feelings of regret.

“I’m sorry, my son.”

Fundy pushed the sword through his body without even thinking and before he knew it his father was lying there, dead.

“Daddy…” Fundy whispered, pushing his right claw onto his father’s cheek. It was still soaked with tears. He wiped them away, pushed his sleeve so it was over his paw. He wanted to wipe them away before they dried, the last source of comfort before anger overtook him.

There was noise from across the ravine, Fundy had forgotten about the destruction outside. There stood three people, the most important ones. Tommy, Tubbo, and Niki: his comrade, the president, and his friend. All with faces mixed with grief, fear, and ease.

Fundy was confused now, what was going on? Why was he still touching skin? Fundy stared down at his father, his other arm supported his head, “Why aren’t you respawning? Why are you still here?”

His smile mocked him even in death.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You died before! Is this your sick, twisted game again, did that sword do nothing to you? Where the fuck are you?” Fundy yelled at him, with demands and threats that no one had heard that fox use before. All the pain and regret were coursing through his body.

“Why did you tell me you’re sorry? Sorry for what, for not helping me when Sally died? For making a mockery out of me being a short term traitor for Schlatt? Who the fuck do you think you are?”

No answers came out of it, obviously. But still, Fundy couldn’t stop. Much like his tears.

“Had you forgotten you had a child for all those years, was I nothing but a memory of pain? Have you never loved me?”

“I am afraid he cannot answer that, child.” A strange voice raised before him, with how far the voice was Fundy thought it was Dream, the god himself. Along with the black wings appearing behind his back.

“I am no child, sir.” Fundy rebutted, barely making a sound, “I am a man.”

The man laughed, “I know, but to me, you are a child. And that man in your arms was my son.”

This man was claiming to be his grandfather? That was the most absurd thing he’s ever heard, besides his father not disappearing in his arms - of course.

“My grandfather is dead, much like everyone else in my life.”

“Actually, I am. Philza Minecraft is the name, not too sure why or how I got here but something was... Calling out to me.” Phil said, “Perhaps it was the calling of my son.”

“Yeah, well, you’re too late. He’s gone now.”

“Yes, it appears I had returned too early.”

Too.. what?

“He was supposed to die, Fundy. Regardless if I came or not, he would feel guilty and a member of his family, whether it be Techno or Tommy, or.. you, would have to come and kill him.”

Is he reading his mind or something?

“H-how did you know what I was thinking?”

He laughed again, “I see it in your eyes, you believe the mere existence of me would have stopped him? He had talked to me for years, young one, I already knew what would happen months before. I actually showed him how to do this when he was much younger, before he even adventured to the SMP.”

“Still. Why hadn’t he shown me to you?”

He shrugged, “I got busy.”

Fundy laughed at how casual he sounded.

“I should have waited a bit longer before answering his calls. But it doesn’t matter anymore, he’s gone now.”

Philza picked up whatever was left of his father from Fundy’s grip and turned away from the hole that was now L’Manberg. The sword sticking out of his son. How was he taking this so well? Fundy hated his father, everything he stood for, and still couldn’t help but cry endlessly for his death that he had caused.

As he stood in the doorway, Phil turned his head slightly, “Return to your friends, Fundy. We will talk soon.” Then he left, forcing Fundy back into his destructive thoughts.

Fundy had killed his father, with no remorse, and now there was so much less inside of him. All the joy he thought he would retain was gone forever, with no pinch of hope left behind. Somehow, losing Wilbur was far worse than keeping him alive. Fundy knew returning to his friends would be worse, now that they know what he had done. He betrayed everything he had ever cared about. Every connection led him to a dead end.

No matter who he went to, he would end up drowning in their arms. Dying for any lasting comfort they can have for him. He felt an urge to sink into Tommy’s arms, the boy who was treated as an equal to Wilbur. Tommy wasn’t a boy he had ever grown to love, despite him being Wilbur’s family. He trusted Wilbur like a mentor, even when he went insane he still had trust left over. But to Wilbur, he left him. Fundy felt guilty that he was happy when Wilbur didn’t trust Tommy anymore. It meant nothing to him, as he continued to treat Fundy as an innocent child.

Somehow, his own dignity had succumbed to loneliness and he left the literal hole in the wall in favor of returning to his friends. His tail wagging slowly in anxiety.

When he exited Pogtopia, he ran to L’Manberg - to where he last saw Niki, Tommy, and Tubbo. They were still there, all of them numb to the crater that was once their home.

“He did it.” Tommy had said, as Fundy walked up. He predicted it was the first time he spoke, his voice was dry and ached.

“Fundy..” Niki turned around, as Fundy pushed his way between her and Tubbo.

They all knew what he had done, they watched as the sword entered his body. Will they ever forgive him for what he had done?

“I’m sorry Niki, I knew you two were close.”

Niki blinked, “I’m sorry?”

“What?”

Tommy looked at him, “He was your father, Fundy.”

Fundy misunderstood what Tommy was getting at, “Yeah, he was an awful parent. All he ever cared about was winning back power. He never cared about me, or whatever my desires are. He always put you and Tubbo up on a pedestal.”

“Fundy..” Tubbo began.

“Tubbo, just because you are president doesn’t mean anything to me. You all were quiet when Wilbur mocked me every day. He never cared about me.” He never loved me. “I’m glad he’s gone now.”

Niki placed a hand on his shoulder, not really knowing what else to say.

“Fundy, I-I didn’t mean it like that.” Tommy had said, “I meant that..”

“He was your father.” Tubbo restated, knowing Tommy will finish it.

“Yeah, why were you apologizing?” Tommy questioned.

Oh. Fundy had messed up once again.

“I-I,” Fundy was at a loss of words, “I don’t know how to feel.”

Niki gave Fundy a knowing look, she brought her arms to wrap around his neck. Two other boys wrapped their arms around his torso. Everyone fell into a tight embrace. All at once, the tension from their bodies fell.

“Let’s go to the bak-oh..” Fundy sighed, he placed his head over Niki as she began to cry. She lost the most in this war, he didn’t know why she was still standing.

Wilbur betrayed her far too many times, too many stupid mistakes were made while he stood by and watched from his secluded space. But still, she used every ounce of her passion to attempt to bring L’Manberg to its former glory. That day will never come now that Tubbo was president of a crater in the wall.

“We can build it up.” He had said, “We can bring it back. We have done it once, we will do it again.” Fundy hated a lot of things about the two kids, but he always liked how much love they had for his father’s nation. Even if he never felt that love in return.

“Fundy, you are taking this too well.”

Niki and Fundy had seated themselves together on a bench, Tommy and Tubbo both searching for their discs to play before the sun fell.

“Is that an issue?”

“Yes,” she moved slightly, so she faced him, “you killed him. You must feel sorrow at best.” Her hands laid on his jacket, a soft reminder that she cared for him. But sadly, her words didn’t hit like they were meant to.

He sighed, “Niki, you knew Wilbur as a friend. You knew of his bravery, his passions, what brings him joy. You knew him as he wanted you to know, but I knew Wilbur as my father. And that man is a different person.”

Niki frowned, “Although I wish to mourn, those final moments were not my Wilbur. I merely feel sad for the Wilbur that could have been.”

“I suppose that makes sense, but you have to understand that your Wilbur and mine were never the same.” Fundy rubbed in between the bridge of his nose, “The man I knew always deemed for greatness, relentlessly praying that I’d stop joining their war-like behaviors. He wanted me to act like Sally, submissive, and quiet.” His voice was low when he said that, “But you knew what I wish I knew, you’ve met the sweet and loving Will - the one who relishes his friends and would sacrifice himself for them.”

Niki shook her head, “Wilbur wasn’t a perfect human in my eyes either; I may have loved him but he had flaws I couldn’t shake. He never saw our L’Manberg as ours. He was a possessive man, Fundy. Only I had wished I knocked some of the possession out of him.”

Fundy looked at her with pity, he knew she hated when he did that but he couldn’t help himself, “He never went back for you. Why do you still love him?”

“Because... I just do, I don’t know why.” Niki sighed deeply, finally, she spoke as she turned away towards the sun, “You must have someone in your life that you love for no reason, right? With their flaws and all?”

Fundy knew she wanted him to say that was Wilbur, but he truly thought about it and realized that he didn't. He thought back to when everyone was against him. No one had trusted the fox since he burnt the flag to a crisp and replaced it with an uglier shade - one that Schlatt showed his appreciation for. Schlatt was the only one who had ever tried to befriend the man before throwing him away the second he became unusable. Calling him a traitor and a fiend.

Before he could answer, Tubbo and Tommy came in with discs in their hands. The music in the jukebox played a gentle tune, he remembered it as Cat. Tubbo and Tommy drowned out Fundy’s sorrow as they argued over something silly. Fundy was too naive to realize he was confusing numbness for comfort. At that moment, he didn’t care.

As Wil’s grave was created on L’Manberg soil, he approached it with caution, he had dropped the crimson roses into the burial hole. They laid on the casket of his father. Many had given their eulogies, Fundy didn’t want to say anything to this man. But Philza had stated he punished himself for too long.

Fundy had gone up, anxiously, as he stood in front of a crowd of many of Wilbur’s friends. Granted, friends was a loose word. Many people here disliked him, such as Quackity and Eret. But who's to say he didn’t deserve it either.

“So, for anyone who doesn’t know me, I am Fundy and I am the son of Wilbur Soot. I suppose many of you know from the war, and the- uh - election too, I guess.” His ears flattened, “When I was younger, my father used to sing to me as my mother cooked. He used to tell me stories through music - he spoke about his family and their adventures. I found it amusing that such a remarkable man would settle for such mundane life.” He spotted the looks upon Philza and Techno. He debated whether or not to continue; he agreed to do so.

“When my mother died, I felt nothingness for the longest time, I loved my mother far more than my father. I cannot imagine the pain he may have felt to watch his child bury himself into a hole that he was unable to get out of. But he still pushed me away - even when Sally called out to me to stay safe, even when he told him to protect me - he had pushed me further away from him.” Now he saw Niki, Tubbo, and Tommy. They saw what he had done, he saw their looks of grief. He couldn’t deny that he felt sympathy for them all. 

“And now, now we are here.” Fundy stared at his father’s grave, he touched the stone that is planted into the ground below. Much like his father, the shadow it left was cold and dark. A wariness fell upon him as he spoke again, “My father wanted to be a good man, I knew there was always something within that ready to break - a sense of pride that was ready to burst. But sadly it didn’t and... He broke.” 

Fundy caught his eyes on Niki again, without having to say any words - he felt her encouraging voice beg for him to continue. Maybe that was just him making things up, but he needed anything to avoid melting into a puddle.

“My dad was crazy but not stupid. I know, I know there is something I am missing out from this, I still don’t know what. I have no idea what to think anymore.” Fundy stopped himself, he could let himself leak out what he truly wanted to say. How he hated his father, how he lied to him and everyone, and how he left Niki for a stupid sense of victory. At least Eret was honest to them, stating he could care less about them. He wrapped up his speech with a stupid nationalist story of his brave and heroic father, something to make them smile at least.

“I love him, I love him very much. Thank you.” With that he left and took a seat next to Niki, allowing the others to come up and say how they feel. But Fundy didn’t bother anymore. Who cares about a man who didn’t care about the people around him. There was still something pulling Fundy to believe otherwise but he was too angry to think any more of his father.

Fundy rested underneath a tree as the day turned to night, he sat leaning against the stump as he hummed a silly tune. Thoughts wished to flood his mind, but he couldn’t open the floodgates quite yet. The moon was dim, covered up and concealed under a sleek shade of black. He sighed, no illumination tonight, he supposed.

Suddenly, a young boy emerged from the bushes.

“Hey Fundy,” Tubbo had whispered, unsure if the fox was about to start sleeping or not, “Niki’s been looking for you.”

Oh right, he left the funeral almost immediately as it ended. He grew fearful of them, he saw the mess he created.

“Yeah, I know." Fundy saw the worry from Niki's eyes.

“Was it about Wilbur?” Tubbo asked, bluntly. Bless his heart, he wasn’t Tommy who kept all his true thoughts internal.

“Yes.” Fundy admitted. As much as this kid was shit at lying, he was also very good at detecting it too. It was honestly scary.

Tubbo sat next to Fundy, he sat on his legs, “Oh, I don’t quite know how to help you. But I can give advice, I mean I was shot by my mentor.” (His parents' are also dead-)

Fundy couldn’t help but suppress a laugh. 

Tubbo looked down, as he picked random areas of grass mindlessly, “Wilbur, as much as he’s gone off his rocker his final days,” Fundy shivered at his choice of words, “he did love you, Fundy.”

“Like a banker loves his money like a dog loves a bone. He never loved me for me, Tubs. He loved what I meant to him, He only ever loved his Sally.” Fundy rolled his head back, so his eyes reached the stars above. He wished he understood constellations; he could have sworn he saw a fish in the sky.

“But still. He loved Sally through and through, then he lost her. You lost a mother but he also lost a lover. You could have bonded over her passing, but he chose to push you away. Maybe you were just reminders that she isn’t there or something.”

Fundy exhaled a breath he didn’t know he kept in, “But he shouldn’t have done that in the first place.”

Tubbo frowned, “Then you never knew your father, I guess. He had done things to me too that he shouldn’t do. He put me into war before you would even get admitted for it, and I am younger than you! He ignored me and Niki when we were stuck with Schlatt. He hated that Tommy thought of me when he returned to Manberg before he thought of going to Pogtopia to help him. Your father was ignorant of others.”

Fundy laughed a little, quietly muttered, “At least we agree on one thing.”

It was surprising Tubbo would say this, especially since he is the current president of L’Manberg. He was saying this to the son of the 1st president, which was brave regardless if he hates him.

“And for that, I forgive him.”

Wait.

“What?”

Tubbo nodded, but it was seemingly to himself: “He didn’t ignore us because he hated us, he did it because he only ever ran away from problems.” Tubbo looked over at him, based on Tubbo’s eyes, it seemed like he knew this all along, “I thought you would predict that by now.”

“What do we do now?”

“All we can do,” Tubbo stood up, brushing the dirt off his legs., “do the things that would make him proud, things that honor our home.”

“Oh yeah, like what?”

Tubbo extended his arms, as though he was raising the sky: “Help build this place up!”

When he finally left, he thought over what would have made his father proud, He loved this place with all his heart. He would do anything to protect his nation and land, even if his actions say otherwise. So, begrudgingly, he took Tubbo’s advice. He did things that would have made his father proud, rebuilding L’Manberg.

He began with helping Niki and her twin brother (they didn't look the least bit related-), Ranboo, with her shop, since they were the most affected by the explosion as their only source of income was the bakery. They both lived alone in a faraway cottage, it was likely owned by their parents before their passing. The thing about Niki was that she barely remembers her parents due to age. Meanwhile, Ranboo had short term memory for reasons unknown. Still, Niki and Ranboo show unconditional love towards each other - something Fundy envies. 

Fundy was the last to realize that he was pretty much bad at everything that wasn't meant to turn into a joke. Niki was too nice to saying anything about, while Ranboo was too non-confrontational. But Tommy wasn't as nice as them, when Fundy joked about Tommy's cookie being filled with dirt; he had a colorful way of explaining to Ranboo why he should be fired. Ranboo just pushed him to help Niki, which Niki pushed him to tend the farm. As it turned out, much of the farm was destroyed in the explosion, making it hard to even get good ingrediants. So majorty of Fundy's time was spent tending the garden and feeding animals.

For the past week or so was spent restoring health to any dead crops that got in the way of the explosion, with a little bit of Niki’s help. Fundy thought about Techno and him coming by to help. He was always good with plants. But Techno hasn't been seen since the funeral, everyone suspected he ran away from L'Manberg but that was too good to be true. He was stronger than anyone in L'Manberg, hell maybe even the SMP. Fundy never felt safe in the presence of Techno, but couldn't help but worry for him. Yes, he is known as the Blood king but Philza was his father. There had to be some warmness to the pig, right? How did he score a good man as his dad but not end up as kind as him. Though no one bothered to search for him. Fundy was sure out of everyone he was least excited to see him - especially now with his no parents streak. 

Fundy's cleaning patterns slowly began to change. From the farm to the heart of L'Manberg, he began cleaning nearby what was once the White House. He wanted things to look at least a little pretty. Tommy was somehow nearby at the time and had spotted the fox. He laughed loudly behind Fundy, his ears darted upwards. He faced the child, he had a smug look on his face. Fundy wanted to slap it off.

“What, Tommy?” Fundy asked, in an annoyed tone.

He wielded that stupid sword Techno gave to him before he left town, he pressed it to the ground as he leaned on the steady handle, “Just think it’s a little funny you’re cleaning a country you sought out to destroy”

“I didn’t destroy L’Manberg, Tommy.” Fundy corrected, “I made Schlatt believe I was on his side, that’s it.”

“You did a damn good job of it, he felt so heartbroken to find out it was all a lie.” Tommy, the bastard, mocked him. Made a joke out of the betrayal of a fox.

It wasn’t actually a lie, but he wasn’t going to tell Tommy that.

Fundy turned his back to Tommy, he continued to work briskly, “Please, just let me do my work, Tommy.”

Tommy yelled dramatically, “Yeah, you do your work to ignore the facts at hand. You don’t miss your father one bit.”

Fundy dropped his tools, “What?”

Tommy picked at his nails, deliberately to annoy Fundy, “I mean, you said it yourself. He didn’t care about you or your desires.”

Fundy felt fury grow in his gut, “He was only trying to protect me, Tommy.”

“From what? We can respawn an infinite amount of times, you know.” Tommy laughed, not realizing how his words hit. That’s Tommy for you, never thinking before he opens his mouth.

Fundy tried not to cry, “He didn’t want me to experience the tortures of war.”

“That’s even worse, you do recall that we are younger than you right?”

“Why are you acting so smug?” Fundy shouted, clenched his fists to his sides.

Tommy didn’t answer. Fundy sighed, he turned away and continued his cleaning chores. In the end, he knew it didn’t matter what type of wood he used to pave the pathway or which carpet suited the floors of a penthouse. He just wanted L’Manberg to be pretty, to seem beautiful. The world he adored so dearly had to represent the love and passion outwardly. But it was near unnatural how much nationalism Fundy had felt for his country.

‘You’re doing all of this because you want to feel something.” Tommy spoke again, almost interrupting Fundy’s thoughts.

“I do feel something, I do this because it makes me happy.”

“You burnt our flag, Fundy. You don’t care about this country, what on Earth are you even doing?”

Just then - almost from the shadows, a figure appeared. Tubbo emerged from bushes, no one knew what he was up to and, to be honest, neither did he. But from his knit eyebrows and strange grimace, one could tell that he heard everything.

“Tommy..” Tubbo butted in, both of them ignored him.

“I am sorry you felt left out from the group, but frankly, I had no power to overwrite him.”

With closed eyes, Fundy shouted: “I’m sorry my father favorited you, but I for one think he’s a fucking idiot for trusting you.”

“Boys, boys!” Niki walked in just in time, “I want you both to your rooms, now!” Angry Niki wasn’t a woman you wanted to mess with, she could easily take them on with just her fists alone. Both of them groaned as Tommy headed to his house with Fundy doing the same.

Niki nearly muttered, “Tubbo, please calm down Tommy.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed out.

Tubbo nodded and hurried to Tommy’s side, with Niki doing the same but with Fundy. It was telling that Fundy’s mind was clouded with thoughts of his father. But no one knew how to help him- Ranboo and Niki’s parents had died years ago, same with Tubbo’s. But they were much too young to understand the concept of mourning, still, they know how it feels to lose someone.

Niki mourned as anyone would, with prayers that would come out as whimpers. Wilbur, though, was never a good father. He never deserved the praise, at least that was what Fundy thought. He was greedy with power, long before he had it. He wanted everything and more.

“Fundy..”

“I know what you are going to say Niki,” Fundy sighed, “You are going to tell me that Wilbur’s death wasn’t a result of me, how it wasn’t my fault my father laid limp in my arms.”

Niki went quiet, merely frowning at his situation. He hated it when people pitied him.

“Niki- I am... I am old enough to see the flaws in my father, I can digest what is happening right now.”

“I don’t think you can.”

“What do you mean?”

“Fundy, all you have ever done in L’Manberg was pull pranks. Harmless and silly ones. Nothing that would hurt our country by any means. But I never saw you kill, or rather actually attempt, to hurt another human being. It is not your nature, Funds.”

“Never trust a fox, as the saying goes.”

“Fundy..” She looked down at her feet, she seemed hurt by that sentiment.

Niki wanted to say something that she knew would hurt Fundy, he’s been her friend for long enough to tell. Maybe if he hurt her, she would talk. It was a cruel and ultimately immature thing to do, but that was what he was taught to make people say the things he wants to hear. He wants to hear that he is crazy, that he in beyond saving. He wants that hurt because rage is easier to manage than sorrow.

“Niki, you never asked yourself why Wilbur abandoned you? That maybe it was more than him isolated from the world? You never wondered why he is so distrustful of Eret, even though he had proved himself to be one of our allies? He was ruthless, Niki. Why can’t you see? He was... He was awful!”

“Fundy, do not speak about your father like that.” Fundy couldn’t see her eyes but he knew they went dark, “Your father was a brave man, he built those walls to protect you. He built this nation for all of us!”

“Niki- he never had faith in us.”

“Yes! Yes, he did!” She bounced on her toes, anticipated the worst. She had heard worse, which made Fundy feel bad for being mean. It didn't stop him from letting the words rain.

“When did he ever say he was proud of us?”

Niki looked angry, her silence was deafening.

“Fundy your mourning is irrational.”

There it is.

“When has mourning been rational? There is no right way to mourn you know.”

“There is a difference between mourning and retracing your steps. You are trying to prove to someone that your father’s death meant something, you are trying to clean up his mess. But guess what, he fucked up.” Fundy’s eyes widened, “He fucked up badly, and guess what- I love him still!”

“Whatever happened to him being a good man?”

“Good men exist, but they don’t always end that way too. Your father went crazy, he was tired of Pogtopia. Wouldn’t you want your land back?”

“I do. L’Manberg is my home.”

“Then honor it.”

“But how can I honor a place that never showed me the same love back?”

“I-I..” Niki stammered, “I don’t know..”

“L’Manberg is priceless to me, I love living here but- it wasn’t exactly a home place for me. It was taken over, war filled, blown up, and tarnished. The only happy memories I have are of the people.”

“Then don’t love L’Manberg for the name of it, you love it because we are here. I am here for you, Funds.”

“How can I be so sure that you aren’t just another Wilbur?”

“L’Manberg is merely home to me, I don’t want to have any power here. My legacy is beyond ruling a nation, I want to be known for protecting it.”

“That is very brave of you, Niki.”

“Thank you, Fundy.” Niki smiled at him brightly, “I think you're brave too, doing the things you believe in. I know I may disagree with you, but I also know we are on the right track.”

“Yeah, I know we are.”

Fundy promised himself to not cry today, he knew he spent too much time focusing on his father’s death. He failed though. But this time, it wasn't sadness.

“Fundy? Are you okay?” Her voice was filled with worry, but he didn't think she needed to.

He rubbed his arms, “Sorry, I just... I feel awful.”

“Fundy..”

He laughed, sadly, “No, it’s weird.. I’ve never been told someone was proud of me..”

Niki was quiet as Fundy tried to stop the tears from blinding his vision, it didn’t help when he heard Niki’s meek “Fundy” and the weight of her arms wrapped around him. It a gentle reminder that there is someone there, while he was trapped in the dark prison of his eyes. He felt her presence, which was stronger than any image that could ever be shown to him. More powerful than anything in the world.

Niki had hugged him as he exploded into tears.

“I just miss my dad. I miss the man who would tell me stories before bedtime. I miss the man who would kiss my forehead and tell me I was loved. I miss the man who would laugh at my antics, who would call me his son, and embrace me. I miss him, I miss the past.” He babbled on and on, his legs shook at his mind bubbled with anxiety.

“It’s okay to miss him, you loved him.”

“That's the problem, I don’t." He gasped for word, "I don’t think I ever had, I simply enjoyed being with him, that’s not love, Niki.”

“Still, you can feel sad, Fundy,” Niki continued, “you can be sad for what could have been.”

“But I had killed him Niki” Fundy gasped out, “He died in my arms, his final goodbye was an apology”

No one could talk for a moment. The silence was deadly.

“Would he... Would he forgive me?” His voice was so soft, it didn't sound like him.

Neither had answered, but Niki pulled away, she brushed the fur back behind his ear and hugged him once again, this time even tighter.

They hugged each other for a long while until the night fell over them. Niki told Fundy to apologize to Tommy, with Tubbo asking the same of Tommy. They had first given half-hearted apologies before Niki and Tubbo chastised them for being dishonest and they were forced to give decent apologies - making Niki and Tubbo happy.

At some point, Fundy asked Tubbo what he told Tommy to make him apologize with Tubbo simply responding with a shrug and a “Wilbur’s ghost got to him, I suppose.” Fundy thought the kid was joking but he seemed surprisingly serious (when he told Niki about that interaction, she simply laughed saying that his imagination has grown stronger after developing his alter egos.)

Just before Fundy departed from the three revolutionaries, Tubbo mentioned to Fundy that Philza came in and asked Tubbo to tell Fundy to speak to him at his place. Fundy was worried but he knew Philza wasn’t going to pull anything - if he didn’t at the funeral, surely not at the brink of dusk.

He knocked on the old man’s door, he recently moved in and had already gathered enough items around to create a new branch of government (not like he would though). It was easy to tell that Techno's absence was creating a toll on the old man, he spent his days out and about - from farming to mining. It was easy to tell that the nation’s hatred towards him was causing him great pain and grief. When he was greeted by the same blonde, winged man, the suspicions rang true. With the bags under his turning a dark blue and his disheveled hair that had become messy due to the hat he always wears, Fundy was quickly welcomed into the house of Philza. The two drank tea at the dinner table. The world seemed to quieten as they spoke about the arbitrary events that go around L’Manberg, laughing at the antics their friends pull.

At some point, Fundy had spoken up about wanting to reconnect with some old friends. Philza then asked about Eret, which caused Fundy to go quiet. Eret was mentioned before Wilbur blew L’Manberg to smithereens. Philza felt the rise in tension so he decided to drop it.

The two talked for what seemed like eons, but it was good. Fundy was able to analyze what Niki and he were truly talking about; it was between a lonely and vengeful son versus a kind but stern protector. Both arguments had faults, with Niki praising Wilbur too far and Fundy not seeing what was good about him. But, in the end, you cannot change how you feel about people overnight. It was a long process of acceptance - having unconditional love for people who have wronged you would be impossible and rarely achievable.

But there was something in Fundy that was still happy that his father was his, however, he still did not know why.

As their minutes of talk came to a closing, Fundy wanted to ask one more question before he headed to his place to sleep.

“Is he not coming back?” His voice going distant, as though he was a million miles away.

Phil looked at him, with sadness coated into his eyes, “Yes, but not as the man you thought he would be.”

Fundy wanted to ask him what he meant by those words. Did that mean he was going to respawn again? That was all Fundy had ever wanted, a second chance at his life. He wanted to exist as every reality of his father. He didn’t care if his father came back meaner, he wanted his father to come back as whatever entity made possible in this world. But he knew it was a lost cause. He saw his father’s body be carried away from his own father. He knew Phil wouldn’t lie after being forced to bury his son.

Still, he couldn’t shake off the feeling of unease that surged into him. The thought of his father’s return made him chills, fear raised in his chest. What if he came back and didn’t like what Fundy had become. What would Fundy do if he reacted with the same anger he had felt since his departure from this world? The SMP had given him life, without it Fundy was just another person within the faces of those who fought for the same goal that he had. He was just another name in the history books, as an accredited source. An afterthought.

Fundy held onto his hat, he allowed it to rest there in his hands. He didn’t realize what Phil was doing until he began to hum the L’Manberg anthem.

“I heard there was a special place....” Philza’s voice was strikingly similar to Wilbur’s but it could just be Fundy imagining things.

Fundy had joined in, adding his name in replacement of Wilbur’s.

Fundy. Tommy. Tubbo. Eret.

Each name fell from his lips, dripped with hesitation. Although Fundy would fight for his homeland, he felt pain for those who had suffered for it. Niki was the one who he thought of up first in his mind. As they continued to sing their hearts out as quietly as they could. Fundy couldn’t help but feel a strong connection between himself and Phil. Both lost someone very important to them, but neither were coping well. Phil’s reaction was abnormal to most - he was very at peace at having to carry his son to his grave. Afterward, he worked himself to death and back - grinding until his fingers were stiff. Meanwhile, Fundy hadn’t felt anything but pain, he couldn’t speak of it because his father - although a criminal - was a former beloved hero. You cannot criticize a hero despite what their last moments are.

As their singing came to a close, both of them breathed out the last lines.

_“For L’Manberg, For L’Manberg, For L’Manberg, For L’Manberg”_

They turned to each other, with eyes that were soaked in grief that many would pity. With a ruffle of the hair, Philza left the room - mentally letting Fundy off to do his own things. Fundy stood there, stared as the man who he got to know a little bit better simply left the scene. He hugged himself and shivered.

_Suddenly, the room got colder._

**Author's Note:**

> Damn. That was sad lmao. Sorry for the angst, hah, like I said it's a bit of a venting fic so I kin the funny fox /j not but really this fic was very fun to write. Might write more angst later.. who knows! Thanks for taking the time to read this silly little story!!
> 
> As always if I made any mistakes let me know in the comments!! Thank you once again, y'all are swag :DD!!
> 
> Twitter: celestiastarz  
> Tumblr: celestiastarz


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